JMU Buying Up City
Posted on 2/19/2010 by Jeremy Aldrich
HARRISONBURG - With its recently announced purchase of the Rockingham Co-op building in town, JMU continues its streak of buying city properties to expand its campus. And according to Director of Development Christine Balducci, they're not done yet.
"I'm proud to announce that we are buying Harris Gardens, which will be renamed Marvin Gardens, and that we will also be buying a large section of Main Street, which will now be called Boardwalk," she says.
Balducci says JMU plans to put hotels on some of its newly acquired properties. She adds that they are considering the purchase of some city utility companies and railroads.
In addition to acquiring property, Balducci is also responsible for developing JMU's relationship with local government. Balducci is proud that she has earned several "get out of jail free" cards for JMU students who have run into problems with the Harrisonburg Police Department.
The work is lucrative. Every time she completes a circuit of JMU properties and passes through Court Square in her car, which she has nicknamed "The Thimble," she earns a $200 bonus.
She is currently negotiating several other deals for the university, and she has a message for holdouts: "Take a chance on us; it's ultimately good for the community chest."
Image by PhilWolff. Real story at Rocktown Rebel.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Crocktown is a parody news site.

This work by Jeremy Aldrich is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 United States License. If you have questions or ideas for Crocktown, email Jeremy.

This work by Jeremy Aldrich is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 United States License. If you have questions or ideas for Crocktown, email Jeremy.

3 Response to "JMU Buying Up City"
Nice :)
Love the way you make me smile.
It sounds to me like JMU is Monopolizing the city...
Leave A Reply
Please use an ID or at least choose Name/URL and not just Anonymous. What are you, boring? And no defamatory junk, okay? This is all about having a little fun and no one likes a jerk. Except my wife.