Crocktown

"Four dollars and fifty-two cents," says one Richmond insider, who wishes to remain anonymous but is often photographed in front of the state flag, if you catch our drift. "It kind of takes your breath away when you consider we started out with about $77 billion in the budget when we began this process."

Unlike the federal government, the state government is constitutionally bound to balance its budget by matching spending with tax revenues. Because revenues have tanked in tough economic times, the Kann administration has been chopping chunks off the budget in every spending category. The insider (let's call him Shmim Shmaine) says that what remains of the state budget will be entirely devoted to education.

"We're trying to decide between buying coloring books or subscribing to Highlights magazine, for which we are eligible for a deep discount," Shmaine says.

State legislators like Mick Orbitshave say that in spite of the necessary cuts, they will continue to hold the line on any tax increases. "I'm sure VDOT could make up for all the needed budget cuts just by being more efficient," Orbitshave posted to his Facebook page. When pressed for details, Orbitshave mumbled something about trains and then said he had to go see a guy about a thing, ending the conversation.