Crocktown

ELKTON - A heavy storm this weekend that may have included a tornado has had a dramatically positive effect on property values in Elkton. The storm, which downed trees and shook houses, also blew away and smashed hundreds of lawn statues and junk vehicle parts throughout the town.

Larry Shifflett, an area native, says he lost approximately $50 of bric-a-brac, but that an appraisal this morning raised the value of his home by more than $3000 due to "increased livability".

"All in all, this could work out for the best," says Shifflett. "My house is more valuable and I hated mowing around that crap anyway."

The storm also blocked roads on a typically busy night for cruising, saving an estimated $4000 in gas that went unused by local rowdies.

The most expensive loss from the storm was a storage shed owned by O'Dell Crawford. According to documents filed with his insurance company, the shed contained "miscellaneous" items valued at $5 million.