Gilmore Touts Republican Economic Expertise

HARRISONBURG - Republican Senate hopeful Jim Gilmore recently toured Harrisonburg as part of his "I'm a Working Man's Millionaire Tour". During his visit to local construction sites, Gilmore discussed his energy policy with "average joes" including the area's upper class, lower upper class, and upper middle class.

"If we move decisively, the price of gas will come down tomorrow," the former Virginia governor said during a campaign stop in Harrisonburg on Monday. "There is a solution."

When asked what the solution would be, Gilmore smiled knowingly and said, "My father was a tradesman too". He then unbuttoned his suit jacket to show he's a working-class kind of guy. Construction workers in the immediate area seemed undaunted by this confusing statement and continued about their work.

During the 2008 election run-up Gilmore has joined fellow Republican non-elites in declaring that their liberal Democratic counterparts have lost touch with blue collar workers. They have also categorically denied any involvement in the last eight years of failed economic policy. A Gilmore spokesman said that Democrats' "pantywaist approach to liberal environmental preservation" has led to the current price of gas.

While an intriguing proposition, some energy policy experts insist that the last eight years of war, economic class warfare, and monopolistic OPEC policies "may have something to do with it after all".

Gilmore was unavailable for comment on reality based questions.

Thanks to David Miller for submitting this news item.