Crocktown

RICHMOND - State lawmakers yesterday appointed Sparky Wilson, a dog, as the new judge for Norfolk's Circuit Court. The controversial appointment was opposed by insane liberals who preferred a radical Democratic activist vying for the post.

"I'm not really an activist," says the ex-candidate for the post, Terrence Piper. "I have voted for Democratic candidates a few times and I have a Mike Warmer bumper sticker, but I don't think that makes me too partisan for this post. I'd also like to point out that not only would I have been qualified because of my years in law, but I'm also a human being. Sparky is totally wrong for this position and he just got the job because of family connections."

Sparky, the pet of Harrisonburg residents Kerri and Thomas Wilson, wagged his tail appreciatively when the news came down about his appointment to the post. Thomas Wilson was recently appointed Rockingham County Circuit Court judge over the objections of the local bar association, who had endorsed another candidate. However, Thomas Wilson was supported in the General Assembly by local Republican lawmakers, who thought he was the better candidate and whose support likely had nothing to do with his wife's chairmanship of the Harrisonburg City Republican Committee.