Crocktown

RICHMOND - Virginia's Attorney General Rob McDongle is "A-OK" with a proposed state law that would allow licensed hunters to shoot undocumented people and their US-born children. "An illegal alien cannot establish domicile in Virginia," his office stated today. "And we're 99% sure they can't establish their own humanity in Virginia, either. As such, their status is similar to other undocumented species in our state such as deer, squirrels, and turkeys. And of course, if THEY can't be considered human, neither can their children. The 14th amendment doesn't apply to them any more than the other 26 do."

The ACLU of Virginia immediately responded with a complaint, but you know how they are.

McDongle has also cleared laws recently prohibiting undocumented residents from driving, working, receiving in-state tuition rates, receiving out-of-state tuition rates, owning homes, renting homes, living in homes, eating, sharing air with citizens, and receiving public, private, or self-assistance. Interestingly, McDongle strongly supports their right to purchase weapons at gun shows.

"We see no reason to restrict 'illegal-hunting' season to any particular time during the year," McDongle's spokesman said. "Just be sure to wear blaze orange and follow all the usual safety rules. We wouldn't want a citizen getting hurt."